IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE:
• "Front Porch Chat from Shellie"
• "Chuckles" Southern joke of the week
• "A Taste of the South" Southern recipe of the week
• "It's Been Said..." Southern Quote of the week
•
"Southern Comfort" Inspiration from my heart to yours
• "A Southern Exchange" Readers Write In
NOTE: The Suck It Up Tour has been moved here.
NOTE: The ATS show should be streaming soon! Click here to hear the most recent All Things Southern Live Radio Show from 06/27/08.
Email Shellie
"Fighting the Heavy Foot Gene"
Hello folks, welcome back to Coon Creek. I've made things
as comfortable as possible for y'all. Have a seat and let's
chat... ~smile~
My friend Rhonda and I have logged a lot of miles this summer
with the book and I haven’t gotten a single speeding ticket. I’m
feeling so reformed— and a little proud. (Rhonda would like to add,
lucky.) Now, in the event that any of you sweet, precious, policemen
are listening I’d like to offer a disclaimer at this time. I try very hard to
obey the speed limits. It’s just that I have a heavy foot. I got it from
mama’s side of the family. If you’re southern, you understand that.
While the scientific community might limit genetic markers to physical
resemblances and medical histories, southerners can trace most
every trait straight through the family tree.
I can honestly say the heavy foot gene is missing in my friend’s
family. Rhonda and I have vastly different driving style. She thinks I
drive too fast; I know she drives too slow! Rhonda and I have learned
to plan our departure time according to who’s going to be at the wheel.
If Rhonda’s at the controls, I tack on thirty minutes. If I’m driving, she
subtracts …a few… you get my point.
One day we were on an interstate somewhere going someplace with
Rhonda at the wheel. The more she talked, the slower she drove. This
wasn’t Thelma and Louise—heck, this wasn’t even Oprah and Gail’s
Big Adventure. I was preoccupied with wondering if I could beat her
home on foot when she caught me looking at the speedometer.
“What?” Rhonda said. “I guess you think I’m driving too slow!”
I shrugged.
“That’s it, isn’t it?” Rhonda asked.
I grinned. “I know what you’re thinking, Shellie,” Rhonda said. “But at
least we won’t get a ticket for speeding!”
“I’ll have to agree with you, there,” I told her. “We are in no danger of getting
a ticket for speeding.” I really would've left it there but Rhonda just had to
give me a self-satisfied smirk. “However,” I added, “We might get one for
loitering!” Poor Rhonda, if the gene pool holds her grandkids will have
to speed up to fall behind...
Y'all take care folks and enjoy wading through this week's southern
celebration. I'll be around if you want to chat. Oh-- and I almost forgot--
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! I hope your celebration is full of food,
fun, and family. Just remember to thank the Good Lord for the blessing
of living in this great land. God Bless the U.S.A.
Hugs,
Shellie
